Your Online Presence Speaks Before You Do

In Trusted Roles, Your Online Presence Speaks Before You Do

You polished your resume. You updated your LinkedIn. You researched the company. You found the perfect role. Did you Google yourself? Look at your own Instagram? Check whether your Facebook is actually private?

Because there is a very real possibility that someone else already did. And sometimes, what they find can quietly end your candidacy before you ever have the opportunity to explain yourself.

This isn't true for every industry, every company, or every job. There are plenty of careers where having a large, visible, opinionated, creative, or highly personal online presence is an asset. But in the world we recruit for — Executive Assistants, Personal Assistants, Chiefs of Staff, Estate Managers, Family Office professionals, and other trusted roles supporting C-suite executives, founders, public figures, and ultra-high-net-worth individuals and families — discretion matters. A lot.

And your public presence can tell a prospective employer something about how you understand discretion before they've ever met you.

Yes, They May Look You Up.

Candidates are sometimes surprised by this. They shouldn't be. If you're being considered for a position that could give you access to someone's home, children, finances, calendar, travel plans, personal correspondence, business dealings, relationships, or other highly confidential information, it isn't unusual for someone involved in the hiring process to look at information you've chosen to make publicly available.

Instagram. TikTok. Facebook. LinkedIn. Maybe a personal blog. Maybe your comments on public posts, articles, or YouTube videos. Maybe simply Googling your name.

They aren't necessarily looking for something scandalous. Sometimes they're simply trying to answer a question: Who is this person, and do I feel comfortable bringing them into my inner circle? Do I feel comfortable having them around my business partners? My clients? My family? My home?

And that's where candidates can get into trouble.

Your Instagram Doesn't Have to Be "Bad" to Give Someone Pause. This is an important distinction. We're not talking only about obviously inappropriate content, sometimes there isn't a single post that is objectively wrong. Instead, it's the overall impression. A completely public Instagram filled with hundreds of selfies. Revealing photographs. Frequent drinking or partying. Constant luxury travel. Posts that feel boastful about access, restaurants, hotels, goods or experiences. Highly personal relationship details. Public arguments. Oversharing about family or friends. 

None of those things automatically makes someone a bad employee.

But a private employer may still wonder: What seems to matter to this person? Where do their priorities lie? What do they value? What kind of energy are they bringing with them when they show up to work in the morning? Are they grounded and focused? Are they someone who enjoys being seen? How do they distinguish between what is public and what should remain private? Do they demonstrate good judgment about what they share - and what they don't? Will they understand that the people, places, conversations, and experiences they have access to through their work are not theirs to share? And, ultimately, does the person I see online feel aligned with the person I want inside my business, family, or home?

Those questions may be subjective, but in a role built around trust, proximity, judgment, and discretion, they can matter enormously.

When you're applying to become someone's right hand, you're often being hired for your judgment just as much as your ability to manage a calendar. Sometimes, being so public is the concern itself.

This is the part candidates often miss. It may not be about any particular photograph or interests/hobbies. It may be about the decision to make everything public in the first place. If someone has thousands of publicly available photographs documenting where they go, what they do, who they're with, what they think, where they travel, what they buy, what they eat, what frustrates them, and what happens in their relationships, a privacy-conscious employer may reasonably wonder how that instinct translates into the workplace.

Private principals tend to be, well, private. Some have deliberately worked very hard to keep their personal lives off the internet. If you're going to work inside their home or alongside their family, they may want someone whose natural instincts align with that. You don't have to be mysterious, but understanding what belongs to you, what belongs to someone else, and what belongs on the internet is a form of judgment. Politics, religion and strong personal opinions - this is another area where nuance matters - you are absolutely entitled to your beliefs, you do not need to change them to get a job, and employers should not be making unlawful hiring decisions based on protected characteristics. But from a candidate's perspective, it's worth understanding something else: once you put information into a public forum, you lose control over how strangers interpret it. A public feed dominated by political arguments, inflammatory commentary, highly divisive content, or combative exchanges can create an impression that goes well beyond the particular position you're advocating.

The same is true of public comments you leave elsewhere. Maybe your Instagram is pristine - but your name appears beneath dozens of aggressive arguments on public Facebook posts. Maybe you've written lengthy comments on YouTube videos discussing topics with people who disagree with you. Maybe you have a personal blog where you regularly complain about coworkers, friends, relatives, neighbors, companies, or your life. The hiring manager doesn't know the context - they only know what you've made available for them to see.

And they may simply decide: This feels like more public exposure than we want around this role.

Don't Forget LinkedIn.

Candidates tend to think of LinkedIn as the "safe" social network.

It still needs an audit. Look at your profile as though you know absolutely nothing about yourself. Is your photograph current and professional? Is your headline clear? Does your career history make sense? Are there unexplained contradictions? Are there typos? Does your About section read professionally? Have you added an unusual tagline or personal statement that may distract from your professional qualifications? Are you constantly commenting on controversial posts? Are you posting things that don't align with the professional image you're trying to convey? A misspelled word on Instagram probably doesn't matter. Multiple misspellings throughout a LinkedIn profile for someone applying to manage a CEO's communications might. Context matters.

And Yes, Too Many Selfies Can Say Something.

This one may feel unfair - but we're going to say it anyway.

If someone Googles you and finds an enormous public feed largely consisting of posed photographs of yourself, it creates an impression. That impression may be completely inaccurate, but hiring is filled with impressions. For certain highly private, behind-the-scenes positions, employers are often drawn to candidates who come across as grounded, polished, sophisticated, humble, discreet, and comfortable operating without being the center of attention. A highly curated public persona can sometimes create the opposite impression. No, of course it doesn't mean you're vain. It doesn't mean you're unprofessional. It doesn't mean you wouldn't be excellent at the job. Perhaps even beyond excellent! It simply means that someone who doesn't know you yet may draw conclusions from the information you've chosen to give them - and you may never get the opportunity to correct those conclusions.

Think About the Client's Perspective.

Imagine you're hiring someone who will eventually know:

Where your children go to school. When your family is traveling. Which house is empty this weekend. Who you're meeting with. What medical appointments you have. What you're buying. Issues with your spouse. Who you're fighting with. What you're celebrating. What you're worried about. Your deepest regrets. What your business is planning. Who is visiting your home. What your security protocols are. What your family dynamics look like behind closed doors.

Now imagine Googling a candidate for that position and discovering that they document nearly every aspect of their own life publicly. You might hesitate too. That's why discretion isn't just something you write on a resume. It's something you demonstrate.

You Don't Need to Delete Your Personality From the Internet. This isn't an argument for becoming a robot or disappearing offline.

Have opinions. Have hobbies. Take vacations. Go to parties. Wear what you want. Practice your faith. Support causes you believe in. Post photographs you love. Your personal life is yours. But particularly during a job search, it's smart to understand the difference between having a life and broadcasting your life to anyone who searches your name. Privacy settings exist for a reason. Use them.

Before Your Next Job Search, Audit Yourself. Google your full name in an incognito browser. Search your name alongside your city, previous employers, and usernames. Look at the first few pages of results - then review your Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn, personal websites, blogs, and other accounts.

Ask yourself:

• What can a complete stranger see?

• Which photographs are public?

• What does my profile picture communicate?

• How much of my personal life am I sharing?

• Do I frequently post about drinking or partying?

• Does my feed feel overly focused on status, luxury, or showing off?

• Am I regularly posting highly personal or controversial opinions?

• Have I publicly complained about employers, coworkers, clients, friends, or family?

• What public comments have I left elsewhere?

• Does my LinkedIn look polished, current, and carefully proofread?

• Does my overall online presence communicate judgment?

• If I were an extremely private person considering allowing this candidate into my life, would anything here make me hesitate?

You don't need to erase yourself, you may simply need to make some things private and take a second pass on what you really want out there. Consider deleting some things you no longer stand behind. Untag yourself from an unfortunate photograph from 12 years ago. Clean up your LinkedIn. Proofread your bio. Change an outdated profile picture. Make your personal Instagram private and then pay attention going forward. The Internet doesn't know the whole you. That's ultimately the problem! A hiring manager might spend 90 minutes interviewing you and come away understanding that you're thoughtful, discreet, humble, warm, intelligent, and exceptionally professional. Your public Instagram gets about 90 seconds at max. It doesn't get to explain context. It doesn't get to say, "That's not really what she meant." It doesn't get to tell someone that the person they see online is completely different from the professional who would show up on Monday morning.

Your public presence doesn't have to represent everything about you. But it should never unnecessarily work against you, especially when you're pursuing a position built on trust, access, judgment, and discretion, take ten minutes before you apply and look at yourself through someone else's eyes.

Your resume may be what makes someone interested, but what they find afterward can determine whether you ever get the chance to walk through the door.

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