7 Ways to Shift from “It’s Not My Job”
…and transform how your team collaborates and delivers.
If you’re an Executive Assistant or Chief of Staff, you’ve likely experienced this frustrating moment: You’re in a meeting, the team is falling behind on its goals, and everyone seems to be watching—not acting. Or maybe it’s the opposite—people are pointing fingers and making excuses, but no one is stepping forward to solve the problem.
In both situations, the underlying issue is the same: a breakdown in responsibility. Not just who’s accountable for what task—but a deeper team-wide commitment to delivering results together.
Here are seven practical ways to strengthen shared responsibility across your team—whether you’re supporting a C-suite leader or guiding operations behind the scenes
1. Choose both Accountability and Responsibility
Accountability is being answerable for what you agreed to do.
Responsibility is choosing to care for the outcome—even when it’s not your task.
If you want stronger team ownership, emphasize responsibility:
“What outcome are we promising?”
“What will it take to fulfill it together?”
What am I seeing and how can I help?
Responsibility invites people to contribute their creativity and initiative, not just their compliance. Each team member becomes part of navigating to achieving the overall team promise, not just whatever part they agreed to do in the initial kickoff meeting.
2. Spot the Signs of Victim Mindset Before It Spreads
It sounds dramatic, but many teams subtly fall into victim mode:
“That’s not my job.”
“Nobody told me.”
“I did my part.”
People in this mode focus only on their own tasks, avoid initiative, and disengage when things get hard. Left unaddressed, this behavior drains trust and kills innovation.
What to try: Listen for passive language and complaints. Too often they over-focus on explaining why something didn’t happen. Instead of calling it out directly, redirect the conversation to possibilities: “What would progress look like here?”.
3. Ask Future-Oriented Questions
Responsibility isn’t about blame. Strong teams focus forward.
Ask your team—or yourself—these powerful questions:
What are we committed to accomplishing—no matter what?
Who are we accountable to?
What promises are we making as a team, not just individuals?
How will we move through breakdowns—together?
4. Welcome team voices
Want people to step up? Hand them the mic. Too often, leaders and Chiefs of Staff carry the team’s cognitive load—and end up performing while others spectate.
What to try:
Rotate meeting leadership.
Ask each leader to frame the agenda and outcomes.
Support with coaching, not control.
5. Turn complaints into effective requests and offers
Complaining gets a bad rap. But responsible complaints—those paired with a commitment to improve—are gold. Look at complaints as poorly worded requests rather than reacting to the emotions or unfairness of the complaint. State what the underlying concern is and the offer or request to achieve success.
Model this yourself:
“When we miss deadlines without clarity, I feel frustrated because it undermines trust. I want us to agree on what done looks like and check in earlier. Can we try that on the next project?”
You’ve just turned a complaint into progress.
6. Invite - Don’t Just Demand - Responsibility
People rarely change their posture because someone told them to. They shift when they feel included in something that matters.
What to try:
Share the “why” behind the project or goal.
Invite ideas early—not just after the plan is set.
Acknowledge the discomfort of stepping up, and do it anyway.
7. Build Rhythms That Reinforce Responsibility
One inspiring conversation won’t fix a culture. What works is rhythm:
Weekly check-ins focused on team-wide promises
Cross-functional collaboration on persistent challenges
Celebrating not just what got done, but how the team delivered it together
When you notice a teammate acting from a victim mindset—resisting ownership, offering excuses, or staying silent—don’t shame them. Call them in. Show how they matter to the team’s success. Ask what the team can offer to support their success or learning.
Final Thoughts:
Yes, you want people to do what they say they will do – you want accountability on your team.
Teams are most effective when they hold accountability AND responsibility for success.
Responsibility isn’t about heroics. It’s about saying: “This matters, and I choose to make a difference.” As a Chief of Staff or EA, your influence can spark a team-wide shift—if you choose to lead from this place.
Kindly note this post has been written by our guests, Pam Fox Rollin and Dan Winter – coach and consult with the leadership teams that are building people-powered success. They are co-authors of Altus Growth Partners’ 5-star book Growing Groups into Teams.